When would the world just let me be?

Leave me alone, I don't think the words of others will help. Maybe I don't even deserve the love of anybody, I'm aware I'm not treating you the best way I could have but I really, really, really, feel very suffocated whenever you drown me in those words of yours, in that tone, whenever possible.

I know you mean well, and its wrong for me to hate restriction so much, but everything is KILLING me. I'm sorry I break down so often, I'm so emotionally unstable and I cause so much pain and agony to everyone around me. Truth is, I think I'm in much more pain and agony myself.

I'm still sorry I make you so troubled and helpless even though you've done so much for me. I'm sorry I act the way I do, I'm sorry I let my emotions take control of me, I'm sorry I speak my mind. I'm sorry I have so many 'special needs', I'm sorry but I really want to be alone.

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Sometimes I'd rather be alone, then I'd be free from the troubles of others misunderstanding me, having to express myself or controlling my emotions. Why am I born strange like that, why can't I lead a normal life and not be so sensitive about everything? The things I think about aren't easily understood, I've learnt.


This feeling of not being able to express every thought on my mind right now is killing me. The emotions so overwhelming, I don't know where to start. So much I want to say such that its impossible for anybody to understand.

Just for tonight, I'll keep the rest of these incoherent, strange, depressing thoughts to myself. I feel I'm not part of this...world today.

I really wish some psychological disorder would just hit me.